i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
