Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sext me about skeletons
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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