Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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