Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
