So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
