So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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