I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
