What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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