she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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