Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
