stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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