I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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