We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
