white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
