"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
