The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
