There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
