I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
