thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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