She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
