So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
this is an emotional support booty call
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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