Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
