Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
