just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
