u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
