Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
