So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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