peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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