I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
