Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
