So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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