When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
