A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
