remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
