is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
