I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
