Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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