so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
