eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
