the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
