so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
