so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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