Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
