dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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