Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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