I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
