I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
