They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
