I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
PANTIES FOUND
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