Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
