go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
