I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
