Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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